Happieeee new year!!!!!

Malasssssssss!

That is one word that can summarize my day! haha!. i would love to stay at home watch movies or do stuff which would make me feel relax.

I got an MC yesterday. I had stiff neck! The doctor said you should relax more/ So here i am trying to relax.

My neck has got better. Just that I was not in the mood to go to office. Nothing much to be done. Other people would go to the office play carrom la, play computer games la. For me. it would be heaven if I can go and watch movieS. So yesterday, I went to Penang, met a friend there (OJAI) and went to Queensbay for a movie.

We were planning to watch AVATAR ( i m not really interested actuallly), but unfortunately (YEAYY!) no more seats available. So we watched Alvin and the chipmunks instead!. wuhuhu! Not bad, those chipmunnks are so cute. How I wish I can squish them.

Then lepak with OJAI at a food court near Seagate. I have never eaten there before. But to cut short, I layan je. The food was not that good. Maybe we chose wrong stall kot. Anyway... kenyang la jugak. Borak2 ngan OJAI, then around 10 something I went home.

Cypol mad at me since I didnt wait for him to watch alvin and the chipmunks together. But I m so sorry cypol! We will definitely watch other movies k. So just come back home asap.

I m looking forward for many interesting movies in 2010. One of them would be Smurf! I hope it is going to be a huge one. Not just tiny blue crawly thing which can speak only.

2009 is going to end! yeay!!!

poo-ing like pee-ing!

Howdy! I m back after a few days of suffering. As might be some of you guys know that I would usually have terrible headache and back pain. On Monday, I went for a medical checkup. TU pun selepas dipaksa oleh kakak ku. (Thanks cikpah!) lagipun, I was demam on Sunday and my headache struck lagi! Since I got an MC given by KLINIK KUMARI -the only clinic in Parit Buntar which opens after 5pm on Sunday- , so i use the chance to go to a renowned private hospital in penang. So, this blog would describe my experience these few suffering days... like what I might call it!





Kalau korang tak tau, aku mmg dah lama sakit kepala, only that recently je it gets worse bila tetiba je dunia ku jadi gelap and telinga ku jadi berdesing. Kadang2 masa tengah drive. So risau la. aku kan ke masih mude. Then pinggang ku mmg sakit! dah lama juga. Aku ingat just sakit biasa je la. Then bila kakak aku tahu, dia pun bising suruh g check. Dia ambil cuti 1 hari coz nak temankan aku. ye la. aku ni demam lagi pada hari isnin. AKu sangat takut kena denggi or cikugunya (thanks cipol!). Bukan apa, aku takut kalau tetiba sakit next week aku tak dapat g KL. waa.a.a.a.a abis la!. so i cant afford to fall sick. :(

so I will literally tell my weekend of sickness here. starting from Saturday, ait!

Saturday:

I went to penang to send my microwave to samsung center sebab dah rosak. Since kalau nak repair sendri kena dalam 300++. Baik la aku beli baru kalau harga sampai mcm tu. Aku beli aritu pun tak sampai 300. So pegila ke sana sebab ada warranty lagi. Masa kat sana Jaja call ajak g lunch ngan Su. So aku pun ngikut le.. lepas tu balik kampung and still no sign of sickness.

Sunday:

I went to pasar minggu di kampung. Still ok, takde masalah apa. Pegi pasar, balik umah. Then aku kuar balik coz ada barang yang tak dibeli tadi. Masa ni aku masih ok. Then the drama started masa aku sedang memilih bawang kat kedai anne. Tetiba aku rasa sangat susah nak tunduk. Pinggang aku jadi sangat sakit, infact satu badan jadi sakit and lemah. masa tu dalam pukul 11-12 tghari kot. Aku gagahi juge. tapi lama-lama aku tak tahan, aku terus masuk kereta and balik. Bila balik, aku dah jadi sangat teruk, kepala sakit, badan panas, and aku telan panadol and baring. Dalam kull 2 aku sedar, and dah berpeluh. aku makan mandi solat. Tapi masih lagi badan rasa tak ok. aku bersiap2 nak balik permatang pauh, tapi aku rasa sangat letih. Aku tido jap, and again, badan aku jadi sakit2 and suhu badan aku naik. Aku tangguh niat nak balik. malam tu pegi klinik and dapat MC. Doc cakap takde pape. Maybe aku sakit pinggang tanda nak jadi batu karang. aku pun terima je laa. Tapi kakak aku tak puas hati, dia ajak g check kat spital.

MOnday:

Seawal pukul 7 kami dah bertolak ke Penang. aku tak drive sebab aku masih tak ok. Sampai je ke sppital, huish! ramaila pulak orang! tak sangka la hospital swasta pun ramai. Tapi mmg glamer la spital tu kat penang. Hospital Lam Wah Ee. Tapi to tell you the truth I have never heard of the hospital before. Kakak aku la ni. Dia ramai kenalan cina. One thing for sure kiri kanan aku semua orang indon. Kakak aku kata maybe dorang ni majikan hantar untuk checkup. Tapi aku tak percaya kerana melihatkan cara dorang pakai baju mmg bukan mcm maid, ada yang beg LV, Gucci, Kasut pun branded beb. And bukan nampak mcm beg celup. Lepas tu, aku sembang la dengan 2-3 orang indon ni. And guess what, dorang datang Msia just untuk berubat di Hospital tu. Wauwauwau! tak sangka plak such thing ada, maknanya hospital tu glamer juga di Indon.....

eh.. nak kuar jap. sambung later

Shuu... Shuu.. Grumpy Zaki!

Many things have happened to me lately. Some are good, while MOST of them are bad. Just wanna write something here.

(taken from www.dynamicforces.com/htmlfiles/c-Trade_Paper...)

Well, I am pretty sure that I am SO over my ex. I m now ready for a new relationship. Talking about new relationship, I am actually eyeing a girl. Huhu. Well nothing much to say, but she seems to give me green light too. I guess it will work if I move a step further, just that I dont want to be too pushy and abrupt. I want to see what is going to happen. However, one thing for sure, this time around i am going to be bold.

She seems to be a nice girl. Loves to chat, and I enjoy chatting or smsing with her. However, she can be a bit blunt and daring. But, who knows her other side kan? I really wanna try, but my friends asked me to hold on, and wait and see first. I havent feel like this since.. well.. since my ex got married ( its ok, now, confirm I M SOOOO OVER HER!)

Career wise, things are not so good actually. ProblemS here and there. I am trying my best to mend all the problems that I have, and hoping that I m going to smell success. Huhu!

Today I was so depressed since I lost students' marks and their test. I was swearing all day long and I said to myself "I am a F***ing LOSER. I have lost my luck". Before this my boss would always refer me as Lucky Zaki, now I guess, I must write UNlucky Zaki> huhu. I m trying my best to find and get my lucky charm back.


By the way, I m smiling and start to laugh again. I am hoping that the old happy go LUCKY zaki will come back to me> I enjoy his company< now the grumpy zaki sucks badly! I laughed loudly yesterday. Fly.FM made me smile. Gile best! I adore Jules and Nadia. Bothe these girls seem to be so playful and fun, how I wish I can be their friend, I will surely have so many things to laugh at!



On monday afternoon, Jules and Prem were discussiong on how to make us face monday blues. Prem pointed that, in order to chase away monday blues, we must pretend to laugh loud, and it does mean loud. Not just hehehe, or huhuhu. It should be HA HA HA kind of laugh. It works. I tried while i was driving to Penang. I was pretending to laugh, however my pretended laugh turned to be real since, other drivers were looking at me and gave me the "What The...?" look. Haha. Then, I laughed. Haha. However, jules la, made me laugh some more. Ha ha ha ha. "Prem.. you are ugly! HA hA HA HA!" Funny. Guys, do listen to Fly.FM. Their morning and evening crew would always made me smile. Phat Fabes, Nadia, Ben (morning crew) and Prem and Jules (Evening crew). At night pun not bad. Hafiz and basil can be very naughty at times, however, they rock!

What else eh? Owh.. I m on diet now. My friends said that I am crazy. they said I am skinny enough and why on earth I want to loose weight? Well the answer is simple, I want to be slim. Huhu! Come on I am 29! I must take care of my ageing body!




Cipol is so busy lately. He rarely replies my sms. I m not satisfied most of the time, but I must understand that he is playing a role in making his brother and sister's wedding a success. Maybe after this he will 'kacau' me like he used to. Bosan bila tak ada orang nak di ganggu. Cipol my bro.. if you happen to read this.. i hope you are going to sms me like u used to k.

Hmm.. I guess i m done here, I mean for today! maybe tomorrow i will write some more.

Adios amigos!

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi..

and I hope it will go away for good!

All past memories MUST be deleted for good.


I m mending my heart, and hoping for the very best!!

this is me now!

can't you see?

Can't you see that I am happy?

[pic taken from http://aeontriad.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/fake_smile_by_shittyliquor.jpg]

It doesnt mean anything... when you are gone!

Listen to this song makes me.... i dont know..!

It doesnt mean anything by Alicia Keys


Used to dream of being a millionaire,

without a care

But if I’m seeing my dreams and

you aren’t there’cause it’s over

that just wont be fair darling,

rather be a poor woman living on the street,

no food to eat,

cause i don't want no pie if i have to cry.

cause it's over when you said goodbye!

all at once...i had it allbutit doesn’t mean anything now that you’re gone

from above seems i had it all

but it doesn’t mean anything

since you’re gonenow i see myself through different eyes,

it's no surprise!

being alone will make you realize

when it's over!

all in love is fair I shoulda been there, I shoulda been there, I shoulda shoulda.

all at once...i had it all

but it doesn’t mean anything

now that you’re gonefrom above seems i had it all

but it doesn’t mean anything

since you’re gone

I know I pushed you away

What can I do that would save our love

Take these material things

They don’t mean nothing

Its you that I want

All at once...I had it all

But it doesn’t mean anything

Now that you’re gone

From above,

Seems I had it all

But it doesn’t mean anything

Since you’re gone

All at once...I had it all

But it doesn’t mean anything

Now that you’re gone

From above,

Seems I had it all

But it doesn’t mean anything

Since you’re gone

Hate my life now! yuks!

Everything seems tak kena. Itu tak kena. Ini tak kena. Semua huru hara! I just dont know what to say. kadang2 rasa keputusan yang aku buat salah, tapi kadang kala mcm i m on the right track, so, I JUST DONT KNOW!!!



Things that I HATE so much now:



1 Celcom broadband



- I xknow why kat rumah tak leh nak masuk website itu ini. kat opis boleh pulak! bukan aku buka website lucah pun! aku sedang mencari cara-cara nak ajar choir. website nak ajar choir pun tak bleh! apa punya kureng. pastu aku dah la ambik plan rm98. Adik aku ambik plan 68 je lebih power dari aku! apa hal? aku dah hentak laptop aku berkali2. masa ni aku teringat pada Unwired! wuwuwuwuw! aku rindu Sydney sebnarnya!!!



2 Family rivalry



- wooo.. sangat sensitif! tak boleh nak cerita and komen panjang2! tak suka! benci benci! kill kill diae die die



3 keja opis yang tahapa2



- ini pun aku rasa nak letupkan opis je! keja kena buat tahapa2. Tak reti2 ke nak kasi kerja yang berkaitan sikit. agak2 kerja yang tak berkaitan sila la kasi pada orang lain! ni tak! itu ini kena buat! aku dah rasa mcm hamba abdi ni! tolong la! sangat rasa nak letopkan opis! waa.a.a.a.a. kababoom!



4 Sakit kepala



-lately kepala asyik sakit! adowh! apa hal? ada one day tu aku sedang sedap2 makan ice cream mcD tetiba je, dunia jadi gelap! waaa.a.a.a.a nasib baik aku tak jatuh terduduk! aku terus gak jalan!. tarik napas, lepas, tarik napas, lepas. waaaaaa.a..a.a terok! dah byk kali dalam kelas, tetiba telinga aku jadi pekak. dunia jadi gelap mcam aku memasuki dunia angkasa gaban! wa.a.a.a.a bengong! weng weng weng!



5 microwave rosak



- aku nak panaskan lauk pun tak bleh. aku nak makan pun kena makan yang tak berapa panas. waa.a.a. tak suka! i want my microwave back! tadi dah g tanya nak repair, dia kata kena byr rm100++. aiyo aku baru beli 2 bulan la microwave tu. harga rm250. Takkan nak kena repair spruh dari tu kot? wa.a.a.a.a.a. benci! nak beli baru ke? aku rasa nak beli induction cooker lah! boleh masak2. (nahas la ko adik! ko kena masak lepas ni!)



6 Students



- waa.a.a.a.a. ni pun buat aku geram! tahapa2! penat aku ulang instruction untuk esemen! tak paham2 ke? adoi! aku dah guna BM pun tak paham lagi! aku guna bhasa jepun kang lagi la dorang tak paham. so mcmana? wa.a.a.a.a.a..



7 kegemukan



- badan aku tak naik, tapi perut naik. mcmana tu? so now! diet laaa! tak nak makan malam. kalau makan pun makan buat buat je. wuhuhuh! kang jadi mcm jerangkung plak! lagi angin bila si nazmin panggil aku abang besar! aiyooo!!! cannot do! benci! aku tak la gemu sangat! tapi middle part tu! tak tau nak buat mcmana dah! nak g buat liposuction la! lalalala~ mcm best!



8 kulit ku



- aiyo bilakah kulit aku akan menjadi sempurna dengan cela yang sedikit! ni tak! dah mcm bontot teko! mcmana ni? aku perlukan plastic surgery! ada sesapa nak sponsor? tak larat dah la.! makan ubat kang kulit jadi kering, kalau tak makan teruk jadinya nak pop pop pop! waa.a..a.a.aa



9 loneliness



- i cant sleep properly now! rasa sangat lonely la. sob sob sob! aku teringat orang itu ini. adakah mereka berbahagia. apa akan jadi pada aku. smalam pukul 2 baru aku hanyut. seblum tu tah apa aku fikir tah dalam gelap. mata sangat besar. plak tu terdengar orang dok terjerit2 kat kedai mamak depan tu sebab ada bola. aku plak bola mata tak tutaup! What should I do? golek sana, golek sini! rasa mcm nak golek turun tangga flat ni! baru puas! kalau tak tutup mata gak, aku tak tau la!. RIP waaaa..a.a.a.a.a.a



10 songs yang buat aku sunyi



-wuwuwuw! aku nak dengar lagu punk lah! tanak lagu yang sayu mayu ni! so not me la! aku bosan!



11 Di sisihkan di ketepikan



- sedih woo bila rasa diri ni disisihkan. rasa mcm anak kucing yang ken tinggal kat pasar. ada ramai orang kiri kanan tapi takde sapa nak angkat aku, belek aku, belai aku. ada yang jahat tu sepak2 je. lagi sedih bila orang yang kita sayang tu tak ambil pusing pasal kita. kita duduk diam2, dia pun duduk diam2. kita kacau pastu kena marah. sedih wooo.. what should I do? wa.a.a.a rasa nak bergolek dari tangga paling atas lah!



12 rambut



- it has become unruly! tak tau dah nak buat mcmmana! rasa mcm nak botakkan je. tapi kalau botak sah sah aku mcm dalai lama. tak pun aku mcm rupa toyol. kepala botak badan kurus, perut buncit! wowowowo! toyol satu!



13 makanan



- i hate food! tak makan boleh tak?



14 gym membership!



- dah berminggu aku tak pegi gym! bukan malas, tapi byk keja lain nak buat la! alku byr 500 tau! aku baru g main 4 kali! mcmana ni? kalau pi best jugak! tapi takde geng la! kalau ada geng best la! ni tak, rasa mcm tunggul. Ada sekali tu aku pi threadmill penuh! last skali naik skycycle je! wa.a.a.a tapi ok peluh! tetap peluh!



15 kereta



- my car is getting so buruk now ! rosak sana sini! mcmana ni? nak beli baru tak cukup budget! kalau beli kreta tak boleh kawin. kalau kawin tak bleh tukar kreta kerana semuanya bergantung pada sumber yang satu itu! wa.a.a.a.a benci! AKU MAHU JADI JUTAWAN!



16 financial problem



- enough said! tapi semua ni pasal gaji la. kenapala lambat sangat dorang ni betulkan! wa..a.a.a point ni disambung ke point berikutnya>>>>>



17 pengurusan gaji

- mana la dorang campak buku perkhidmatan aku? pastu gaji aku mcmana ni? sapa yang buat? waa.a.a.a.a sila pulangkan kembali elaun cola ku! waa.a.a.a.a.a. aku sangat geram! next week aku nak g serang opis kat putrajaya! kill kill die die! kebabom!



18 saluran tv yang tak berapa best



-banyaknye crita indon. apa ingat aku ni berada di jakarta ke? pastu kalau cerita best ok gak.. ni tak cerita si cantik dan si jelik! sah sah nampak si jelik (kononnya!) tu hensem! ko cukur la bulu keliling muka tu, sah sah mamat tu hensem! nak tipu orang pun agak la! aiyo benci benci benci!



19 kawan-kawan tak kaco aku



- kengkawan ku semua, korang di mana? rindu korang! rasa nak gi cari korang sekor2! wea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.



20 monday!



- i hate monday! mcm orang lain jugak! monday sucks.

21 MY EX!

-lalalaalalalallaa

apa lagi.... ada banyak la.. nanti la! aku nak balik keja ni!

memory... of happy times...

As I was browsing through thousands of photos that I have, I came across this one.

This photo was taken a few days (if i am not mistaken) before I flew back to Malaysia. Indeed i was having fun. Those last few days, I spent lots of time with these stooges. We ate together, we went out together, we 'lepak'ed together. I wonder, why i didnt spend more time with them when i first arrive in Sydney. hmm...

I indeed know now that I m the kind of guy which will get close or gain friends at the end of my stay. It is knid of hard for me to really mix with others since my selfesteem is rather low (i guess).

Now, i really miss great times i had with these stooges. Even though they are in Malaysia, but it is difficult for us to meet at have what we had. We have our own life now. Izza is busy preparing for her big day. Min is busy looking for 'the person' for his big day. And, I myself, am still trying to heal my broken heart.

How I wish I can turn back time and spend more time with them. However, these are among those who really make a different in my life. In my next post, i'll try to list them all. Guys, I miss you guys so much.

Lots of love..

zack!

adegan raya....

Raya is celebrated every year. Every year, the same antiques will be repeated again, again again and again. here I list some of 'em. Some may make you smile, some may make you grin. But, anyway. face it. It is reality maaa!

1. kanak2 akan koyak dan buang sampul duit raya yang orang dewasa susah2 minta secara percuma kat shopping complex, banks or just kat memana yang diberi percuma. Ada pulak orang dewasa sanggup beli sampul2 itu just to see it being torn and thrown away. Funny.

2. Ladies plak bukan main lagi pasang badan. Ada yang force anak2 untuk pakai baju yang sama. yang anak plak terpaksa pakai. ada sekali tu dah macam pegantin, berbaju kilat2 yang orang akan pakai bila di atas pelamin. So kalau dah hari raya pun dah pakai baju ala pengantin, nanti pengantin nak pakai mcmana plak? aiyoo.. funny!

3. Selepas raya, jualan toys akan meningkat kerana, kanak2 akan mula spend duit raya dorang bli toys etc. hehe.. masa ni la yang buat toys tu tersenyum.

4. Pakcik makcik plak akan mula keletihan menengokkan the amount of money spent. ye la.. yearly celebration. mana boleh buat sikit2. at least kena la grand! barula memorable.

5. Zakat fitrah tu kalau boleh nak dibayar selewat mungkin. Kalau boleh nak je byr 2-3 saat seblum solat raya. ye la.. mana ada masa nak fikir pasal zakat, nuu... nak kena spent untuk biskut raya, langsir, perabut etc.

6. setiap tahun, b4 raya mmg akan ada satu atau 2 jenis tudung di perkenalkan. malah lebih. tahun ni ramai la yang pakai tudung ala dato' siti which i dont call a tudung after all. I'll call it ad sarung kepala since ianya di sarung saja. huhu..

7. lagi best bila satu famili bershopping selepas raya. Mak pakai tudung, (atau sarung kepala), berbaju kurung (kira ok la) tetiba bapaknya pula bershort. huhu. sangat seimbang barat dan timur. I like.

8. Tu belum kira anak2 lagi. mak ayah bukan main dress up. tapi anak2.. aiyo.. selekeh. may ayah berbaju branded, liplap lip lap.. anak2 pakai baju ben10. huhu.. sesuai.

9. makcik2 sekalian. sila la berpakaian seadanya. kalau setakat bawak kancil atau myvi, tapi baju kurung atau tudung ada chop LV, itu mmg sngt nampak tipu okeh. I have never heard LV ada buat range untuk muslim. that is weird. So berpada2 la ek.

10. Ukur baju dibadan sendiri. Dah byk kali dah aku terlihatkan benda cenggini. Kalau size XL tu jgnla pakai saiz M. sangat buruk okeh. Kembung sini, kembang sana. so, agak2 lah ok.


there are many more. I just love observing people and comment. So that boleh buat peringatan agar tidak ku berkelakuan, bertindak sedemikian. huhu..


Love peace happiness

dialog cinta hati mati....

CINTA DAH MATI!



CINta DAh Mati


tIADA diAlog LAGI....



hATI kiNI sendiri..

DIALOG cinta HATI mati (part 11)

cinta: selamat hari raya
Hati: selamat hari raya buat u juga
cinta: hmm
hati: and your family too.
Cinta: tq
hati: tapi selalu i takut la bila raya
cinta: ngapa?
hati: selalu bila you balik kampung je, i you campak ke mana-mana tah.
cinta: ah?
hati: ye la. sms tak berbalas. call tak berjawab
cinta: you kena faham. I ada ngan famili takkan I nak usung hp kemana saja i duduk. nanti oarng kata apa pulak.
hati: ye la. tapi warning la I dulu. Kalau you nak buat apa, so tak payah la i tertunggu2. Rasa mcam bodoh je
cinta: you jangan mula
hati: tak le. kadang2 tertanya2 gak. siapa la I pada you ek?
cinta: you ada dalam hati I.
hati: ye la. ada dalam hati je la. kalau tak dikeluarkan, tak tahula sama ada betul wujud atau tak
cinta: apa apa la.
hati: tahla.
cinta: you kena faham. i kena layan tetamu masa raya. i kena tolong mama di dapur. mana boleh i pegang handphone nak jawab sms you je.
hati: ye la. I tahu. selalunya I sms pun tengah malam. tak pun masa yang i agak you free. i pun tau. I pun kena tolong mak I di dapur jugak. takde orang lain nak bantu.
cinta: tetapi you lelaki. lain. I ni takkan i nak pegi duduk kat depan sembang apa semua.
hati: i just nak you tunjukkan yang you care. and I am somebody. Itu je
cinta: ye la. you somebody la. dnt u worry.
hati: tahla.
cinta: you.. knapa ni?
hati: takde pa la
cinta: maafkan I.
hati: maafkan I juga.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dialog cinta hati mati 10

Hati: My mum masuk hospital
cinta: Ya Allah. macamana sekarang?
Hati: Tahla. hoping for the very best.
cinta: I nak lawat mak u, boleh?
Hati: betul?
Cinta: ye.
Hati: Ok. Datanglah ke hospital.
Cinta: Ok. Besok I datang k. Dalam tengahari macam tu.
Hati: Ok
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hati: mak! Ada orang nak melawat mak.
Mak: siapa?
Hati: Adala sorang ni. Nak melawat mak.
Mak: erm.. terpulang lah.
Hati: biar dia kenal2 kita mak.
Mak: mak malu la. dengan keadaan mak mcm ni.
Hati: kalau dia nak kan kita mak, dia nak jadi sebahagian dari kita, biar dia tengok yang nyata. bukan lakonan.
Mak: ikut lah. Bila dia nak datang?
Hati: Besok.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinta: I dah sampai. You kat mana?
hati: I ambil you kat parking lot k.
Cinta: Ok. Datang tau.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hati: Assalamualaikum
Cinta: Walaikumsalam.
Hati: I m really suprised that you have made up your mind to visit my mum.
Cinta: takde pe la. mana dia? Wad mana?
Hati: Jom.
---------

Hati: Mak! Ini cinta.
Cinta: Makcik macamana hari ni?
Mak: Alhamdullillah. Dah nak keluar kejap lagi.
Cinta: ye ke? Alhamdullillah. Mak ayah saya kirim salam.
Mak: Jauh cinta datang. Buat susah je.
Cinta: tak lah. Dekat je Makcik. 40 minit je.
mak: tak sesat?
Cinta: tak! dah biasa lalu sini.

hati: mak dah nak keluar dah. jom siap-siap.
Mak: Jom lah pegi rumah sekali.
Cinta: hmm..
hati: Ah ah! Jomlah. Pegi dinner.
Cinta: ok.
Hati: I bawak mak balik, you ikut dari belakang k.
cinta: ok.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hati: ni kenalkan. ini kakak ipar i, abang I no nombor 2, ni pulak yang haru biru ni semua anak-anak sedara i. keluarga besar la katakan.
Cinta: hmm.
hati: eh? duduk lah.
Cinta: takpe. Tq. I nak g tgk mak lah.
hatI: sila sila
Mak: alah! duduk depan sana la. kenapa nak duduk sini. kat belakang ni,
Cinta: takpe la. La. Kakak sibuk nak hidang makan tengahari dah ke?
Kakak: takpe. Cinta tetamu kami. Japg kita makan sesama k.
cinta: Takpe kak. Saya dah biasa. tapi saya tak pandai masak. Tolong2 macam ni boleh la.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hati: tq la kerana sudi datang lawat my mum
cinta: takde apa la. you jgn cakap mcm tu. I suka la family you meriah.
Hati: bising kan?
Cinta: ok la dari pada famili I. asyik2 muka tu je. hehe.Itula nasib cuma dua beradik je. alih-alih I la kena buli.
Hati: takpe.keluarga kecil kurang huru-hara.
Cinta: hmm.. mama kirim salam pada you. Dia tak berapa nak kasi I nak datang. Dia kata I tak malu.
Hati: la! Pulak! Habis tu?
Cinta: I dah jelaskan pada dia. pastu dia ok. I cakap nak pegi ke hospital je. Tadi bila dah sampai rumah, I call dia, i cakap I pegi umah u, dia marah. dia kata I tak malu.
Hati: takpe la. takdepe la. I sebenarnya yang malu. sebab you datang tgk rumah i yang buruk tu. yang hampir nak runtuh tu.
cinta: hmm...
Hati: nanti you datang lagi k. Duduk lama sikit.
cinta: insyallah.
hati: jangan serik ye.
cinta: tak.

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 9)

cinta: Happy birthday
hati: Thank you.
cinta: Ni kek ni kita pegi makan kat mana-mana.
hati: Wah! besarnya kek ni.
Cinta: I tak kira, you kena habiskan jugak.
hati: Woo. mana boleh. Kita makan sesama.
Cinta: ok.
Hati: kita nak pegi mana?
Cinta: i ikut je
hati: Biasa la. tempat kita. hehe.
Cinta: McD tu? Ok
hati: yup! woo! besarnya kek ni.
Cinta: Penat I pegi beli.
Hati: Alah tak payahla you membazir pada I k. beli kek kecik pun I sangat teruja dah. tak perlu besar mcm ni.
Cinta: Alah. Bukan selalu.
hati: Secret recipe ni. mau lebih rm50
Cinta: You ni. Biarla duit I.
Hati: ok! kalau tak habis, you makan yek.
Cinta: Alah you ni.
Hati: dah dah! jom la kita g.
Cinta: ok.
Hati: Anyway... you look so beautiful tonight.
Cinta: Thank you. hehe.

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 8)

Hati: macamana kereta you?
Cinta: teruk. depan tu kemek.
Hati: La. Sorry la I tak dapat bantu.
cinta: tahla. Setiap kali mcm I perlukan pertolongan, you mesti takda. macam you nak I masa senang je.
Hati: you jangan cakap macam tu. You kena faham situasi kita. kalau I tak ambil berat, I takkan tergocoh2 tanya sana sini pasal kedai nak repair kreta you. Cuma nya I tak boleh nak public tahu pasal kita.
Cinta: You memang.
Hati: I tak nak you jadi bahan senda gurau. nanti orang ejek you.
Cinta: you sengaja. I perlukan you. Tapi bila I sangat perlukan yuo, you tak ada.
Hati: I ni kalau boleh I nak terbang terus pi cari you bila you ada masalah. tapi, keadaan kita. You kena paham. I taknak kecoh. I nak kita kekal mcm ni sampai satu masa nanti, baru kita buat mcm biasa.
Cinta: Hmm..
Hati: tolong la faham. Bukan I tak nak publickan. Tapi take it slowly k. Tak lama dah pun.
Cinta: Tak kisah lah.
Hati: You jangan marah i.
Cinta: Apa-apalah. I nak balik ni. Kreta I tinggal sini.
hati: takpe la. Nak buat mcmana. Emergency. nanti besok I bawak you pegi ambik kreta. masa tu line mesti clear.
Cinta: ok
Hati: Bila siap?
Cinta: lusa. Jumaat
Hati: Ok. I akan ambil you. Kita pergi sesama.
Cinta: Ok.

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 7)

hati: I nak sesorang yang faham I. yang terima I kerana I bukan kerana lain.
Cinta: I bukannya nak apa dari U. I nak u je.
hati: habis tu? kenapa you tak boleh jawab soalsn simple I. I just nak tahu kenapa you nak kan I.
Cinta: I ada la sebab I sendiri.
hati: I terkejut jugak sebenarnya.
cinta: erk?
Hati: ye la. You tgk la diri u. U tgk diri I. You tu sangat glamour. Boleh dikatakan setiap minggu ada je nota, bunga kat wiper kereta you.
Cinta: alah. salah orang tu. I tak ambil pun. I letak je tepi. Tak pun I buang.
Hati: ye la. tu maknannya you ramai peminat.
Cinta: mana ada. Kalau ada pun takde la I nak layan dorang tu.
Hati: bistu? I macamana? Kenapa you layan i?
Cinta: adala!
Hati: susah sangat ke nak jawab.
Cinta: Alah, tak payahla nak besar2kan benda ni. yng penting I sayang u
Hati: ye la! tapi i nak tahu. Itu je.
Cinta: nanti la you tahu.

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 6)

Hati: U ok ke?
Cinta: I rasa tak sihat.
hati: owh! ok. semalam kita keluar, you ok je.
Cinta: Hari ni rasa tak sihat. hidung berhingus je ni.
hati: tu la. Smalam kita berembun
Cinta: Takla. OK je
hati: hmm.
Cinta: takpe la.
hati: You rehat k. Pegi klinik la.
Cinta: Takpe ni. I tak pegi memana. I tak larat
hati: ok. I nak keluar jap.
Cinta: ok.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hati: kata tak sihat, nak demam
Cinta: Ye la.
hati: Habis tu you buat apa kat MALL tadi?
Cinta: Ah?
hati: Jangan ingat I tak nampak.
Cinta: I ikut dorang. Dorang ajak.
Hati: Tapi you kata you tak sihat.
Cinta: Ermm.
Hati: Bukan main lagi tadi I tengok.
Cinta: hmm..
hati: Tudung you tadi pegi mana?
Cinta: hmm..
Hati: you tak kesian ke pada parents you. you tau tak selagi you tak kawin, dosa you, dorang masih tanggung tau, walau tak banyak.
Cinta: I... ermm..
Hati: Elok sangat la tu.
Cinta: Erm..
hati: kata tak nak keluar. tak sihat, tapi you keluar jugak. You tipu I.
Cinta: mana ada.
hati: I masih ingat.
Cinta. Tapi..
Hati: dah la. Ikut suka you la. I tak de hak tak tegur you. Itu hidup you. you buat la apa you suka.
Cinta: I sayang you.
hati: Apa-apala.
Cinta: I m sorry k.
hati: Minta maaf kat parents you. Bukan I. you yang kasi dosa you utk dorang share. Pegi minta maaf kat diorang.
Cinta: Maafkan I.
Hati: dah la. Malas dah I nak kata apa. ikut suka you la. Good night.

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 5)

Cinta: I tak suka la housemate I. menyibuk je.
hati: Ah! mmg pun! I sedar lama dah.
Cinta: tak sibuk je tanya, betul ke I kluar ngan you.
hati: bistu? you kata apa?
Cinta: I tak kata apa la. I diam je.
Hati: pastu:
Cinta: dia dok pok pek pok pek pasal erti persahabatan.
Hati: haha. berkutbah la plak.
Cinta: memang. berceramah.
Hati: wah! Bertuah! you ada ustazah kat rumah. Boleh belajar mengaji.
Cinta: haha. Ish! Takdenye.
hati: you sorang je ke tu?
Cinta: tak! Ada semua.
Hati: sorang lagi buat apa?
Cinta: biasa la! dia baru balik. kalau keluar ngan bf dia, mesti balik mengamuk je tu.
hati: apsal?
Cinta: tahla! tak faham la, dorang ni. Asyik bergaduh je. macam-macam la.
hati: ha?
Cinta: nanti gaduh, pastu campak handphone kat dinding. lepas tu berkecai. Lepas tu kutip balik.
Hati: takpe la! lain kali sutuh dia beli public phone.
Cinta: Apasal?
hati: yela! kalau nak campak, berat tu, so nanti boleh gain muscle. Pastu, nak lagi best, boleh la buat pertandingan puzzle handphone atau public phone. Sapa yang boleh memasang kembali handphone tu, maka dia berjaya.
Cinta: haha. Apa hadiah?
hati: Dapat kuar date ngan dia.
Cinta: tahla! I tak faham la dorang ni. Asyik gaduh je.
Hati: hmm.. orang becinta. Mcm tu la
Cinta: Kita takde pun
hati: kita bercinta ke?
cinta: err? tah!
Hati: hehe. I love you dear.
Cinta: Erm. Ok
hati: Ok je? erm...
Cinta: I love you too.
Hati: Thanks. jumpa besok nak?
Cinta: ok.
hati: good night.
Cinta: good night.

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 4)

Hati: haha! best la movie tu. tapi saya hampir terlelap la
Cinta: haha. Itula.
Hati: saya tgk awak relax je.
Cinta: hehe.
Hati: lapar tak?
cinta: ok je.
hati: jom makan
Cinta: Ok.
hati: Nak makan apa?
Cinta: Tak kisah.
Hati: disebabkan awak suka McD, jom la. Saya pun dah lama tak makan ice cream mcD
Cinta: ok.
Hati: kita makan kat seberang, ok?
Cinta: ok.
hati: Lagipun 24 hours kan mcD tu. Ni pun dah pukul 1 pagi dah
Cinta: ok.
Hati: Ok.. ok .. ok.. ok! hehe. Cuba la kata lain.
Cinta: tak ok. haha.
hati: ok ok ok!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinta: Sorry! saya tertido!
hati: takpe. Saya tgk awak dah terlentok2 dah. So saya biarkan je. hehe. Tido dalam kereta. hehe
Cinta: hehe. Tak sedar la bila I tertido.
Hati: Takpe. Takde masalah la. Saya tengok je awak tido. Cute seh.
Cinta: hehe. thanks.
Hati: nak makan apa ni? nak makan sini ke, atau drive through je?
Cinta: makan sini.
hati: lapar la tu.
Cinta: hehe. tadi dah makan kan masa seblum tgk movie.
hati:Ala. tu dinner. Ni supper. Breakfast pun boleh jugak.
Cinta: ish! Tak lah!
hati: I nak ice cream ni. lama tak kena Ice cream ni.
Cinta: I nak jugak. I'll follow.
hati: Ok. I mc Chicken, i know ini fav you and ice cream. ok?
cinta: ok. hehe
Hati: I nak bigMc. My fav juge ni.
cinta: ok.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hati: i nak ambil gambo you, boleh?
Cinta: erm. hehe. ok
Hati: ambil gambo berdua ok?
Cinta: ok. Eh? you buat apa tu?
Hati: takde pape.
Cinta: Ambil video I ke?
hati: hehe
Cinta: nak buat apa?
Hati: ye la, kalau rindu tgk video je.
Cinta: alah. nak tgk jugak
hati: Tak boleh
Cinta: nak le.
hati: nah. hehe
Cinta: alah buruk la. tanak la. tanak
hati: ok apa! I suka.
Cinta: nak video you jugak.
hati: tak payah! jom ambil gambar je.
Cinta: ok
Hati: haha
Cinta: kenapa
hati: I suka la ni. nampak happy je
Cinta: erm. kan?
Hati: tu la....

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 3)

Cinta: Macamana kita nak jumpa ni?
hati: Saya tanak orang tahu la. Tanak kecoh-kecoh. Awak pun tahu kan?
Cinta: Betul juga. saya pun sama. Tambah pulak housemate saya ni. kalau tahu, tentu kecoh.
Hati: Betul! sangat setuju. So macamana ek?
Cinta: tah. Saya ikutkan je.
Hati: Ok! Mcm ni. Kita jumpa kat satu tempat, pastu kita naik satu kereta, senang sikit nak gerak.
Cinta: Ok.
Hati: kita jumpa kat hotel seri malaysia. Rumah awak dekat, rumah saya pun dekat.
Cinta: Ok. Kita park kereta kat situ.
Hati: yes! Brilliant. So?
Cinta: So? jadi ke?
Hati: ye. lepas maghrib. Boleh?
Cinta: Ok.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hati: hello. how are you?
Cinta: fine.
hati: Amboi! cantiknya. Jatuh hati saya kalau macam ni.
Cinta: hehe.
Hati: Ok ke?
Cinta: tah. hehe
Hati: kalau boleh, saya ok je! hehe.
Cinta: Tah. hehe.
Hati: Kita nak kemana?
Cinta: saya ikut je.
Hati: tengok movie nak?
Cinta: ok. kat mana?
Hati: Kita pergi pulau. nak?
Cinta: ok.
hati: great! Jom. kita keluar dari tempat ni. lagi cepat lagi bagus. kereta dah kunci?
Cinta: Dah. ok! Jom!

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 2)

Cinta: awak kat mana ni?
Hati: saya dah sampai.
Cinta: ye ke? saya on the way ni. Kat mana ye?
Hati: terus je. bila jumpa Shell masuk and terus hala ke arah bukit.
Cinta: Ok.
............................................

Hati: Macam tak percaya je.
Cinta: apa tu?
Hati: ye la. Awak nak keluar dengan saya.
Cinta: he he he.
Hati: Kenapa tak ajak kawan sekali?
Cinta: Saja. nanti bising.
Hati: Betul jugak.
Cinta: hmm..
Hati: ayah awak kerja apa ye?
Cinta: kerja sendiri. buat wiring. Dia ada bisnes kecil je.
Hati: Ok la tu. Nak support sorang anak je. Ok la
Cinta: eh tak. Kami dua beradik. Ada abang sorang lagi.
Hati: abang awak? Kat mana?
Cinta: dia kerja dengan syarikat minyak kat terenganu
Hati: Owh! Tak la jauh ngan family ek?
Cinta: saya je yang agak jauh.
hati: Alah. tak jauh sangat! Highway baru dah buka, dalam 5 jam je dah sampai.
Cinta: erm. letih jugak. Nak balik sendiri abah tak kasi. So sekarang mesti parents datang jemput, so balik dua biji kereta la. kadang-kadang sepupu ada, dia join sekali.
Hati: sepupu?
Cinta: yup. Dia ada sini.
hati: Ok la. Ada jugak sedara.
Cinta: tu la.
Hati: laki ke perempuan?
cinta: lelaki. Memang rapat la. Tapi selalu dia balik dengan member.
hati: Ok. Takpe la, mak ayah datang ambil. Anak dara sorang dia, mesti la dorang jaga.
Cinta: hehe. Takde la.
hati: How's life?
Cinta: Ok je.
Hati: Study?
Cinta: Not bad. Boleh la.
Hati: erm.. eh? ni saya keluar ngan awak ni, takde orang marah ke?
Cinta: takde la.
Hati: betul?
Cinta: takde sapa nak marah. dah memang takde sape.
hati: Ok. Tanak la nanti tetiba pecah cermin keta ada orang campak bata. hehe.
Cinta: ish. takde la.
Hati: Kreta awak tu comel la. sesuaila dengan tuan dia.
Cinta: Iye? hehe. Takde la.
Hati: La betul! Sama cantik, sama cute. Comel je
Cinta: tq
hati: order jom.
Cinta: ok.
hati: nak makan apa?
Cinta: ikutkan je. Apapun ok.
Hati: Alah pilih la.
Cinta: Saya tak pandai sangat western.
Hati: Kalau macam tu kita ambil ni je la.
Cinta: Ok.
Hati: drinks? saya nak Kiwi juice. Awak?
Cinta: ok! sama.
Hati: great.
.............................................................
Hati: tq kerana sudi terima pelawaan saya.
Cinta: Takpe.
Hati: Mmg tak ganggu ke ni?
Cinta: tak leh.
Hati: betul ke takde orang nak marah ni?
Cinta: Takde. betul.
Hati: Kalau macam tu. boleh la keluar lagi kan?
Cinta: Ok.
Hati: great! We should set another date. tgk movie ke.
Cinta: ok.
Hati: wow! like a dream come true.
Cinta: kenapa pulak?
Hati: takde pe. hehe.
Cinta: hehe
hati: Ok la. Jom balik. Dah lewat ni. tak baik anak dara balik memalam ni. Nanti apa orang kata.
Cinta: hehe. Ok
Hati: Nanti sampai sms ye/
Cinta: Ok. Tq for tonight.
Hati: takde pe la. I m looking forward for more.
Cinta: me too. see ya.
Hati: Ok!

Dialog Cinta Hati Mati (Part 1)

Hati: Awak ada kakak?
Cinta: Takde. Kenapa?
Hati: Hmm. kalau awak ada kakak, mesti dia cantik kan? Macam awak.
Cinta: Hehe. takde la. Saya takde kakak.
Hati: Kalau takde kakak, awak macamana?
Cinta: Saya macamana? Maksud?
Hati: Ye la. kalau takde kakak, saya nak awak boleh?
Cinta: Tahla.
Hati: Tapi awak dah ada yang punya kan?
Cinta: eh? Takde la. Siapa la nak kat saya.
Hati: Takkanla orang macam awak takde yang berkenan?
Cinta: Takde la.
hati: Tu yang selalu dengan awak tu? mana-mana pun berdua je saya tengok.
Cinta: eh? taklah. Kawan je. Lagipun selalunya pergi ramai-ramai. tapi memang takde apa.
hati: Kalau macam tu awak single la?
Cinta: mungkin. hehe
Hati: kalau saya nak ajak awak keluar makan-makan, macam mana? boleh?
Cinta: Erm. ok. Bila?
hati: besok?
Cinta: Ok. Jam?
Hati: lepas maghrib.
Cinta: Nak jumpa kat mana ek?
Hati: hmm.. kat mana yang mudah ye?
Cinta: Tahla. Macamana?
Hati: Kat Western food Mesin Jahit?
Cinta: Kat mana ye?
Hati: Nanti saya confirmkan k.
Cinta: Ok.

I m dead! but still breathing... hoping to keep on living

Hmm.... It has been a week aku tidak menjenguk ke blog ni. Sibuk ke sana ke mari menikmati hari- hari terakhir aku di Sydney.

Programme coordinator dah kasi green light, Alhamdullillah. semua lancar. Moga-moga aku akan selamat terbang ke Malaysia.

Aku akan mulai semula hidup ku, bermula dari kosong. Akan ku bina sikit demi sedikit, dan diharap aku tabah, dan di jauhi dugaan yang melampau.

Sepanjang minggu ini, banyak buat aku berfikir kembali tentang kehidupan. Tentang pengharapan. Walaupun sedikit sunyi, tapi aku pasrah kerana aku tahu, tak mungkin semuanya ada didepan mata. kadangkala perpisahan membuatkan kita sedar dengan realiti kehidupan. kita manusia biasa, tidak boleh mengharaokan kehidupan super sempurna.

Ejan dah balik Msia. Mmg agak rasa kekok sikit sebab dah tiga bulan aku asyik kacau dia hampir setiap hari. skrang dia dah balik Msia utk cuti. So aku takda nak kacau sapa. I mean in person. Nasib baik Mimin dgn Izza ada. Boleh la jugak buat2 bising. Yang lelain semua sibuk. Nak buat mcmana.. semua orang ada komitmen masing2.

Tapi setiap hari tidak boleh tidak aku mesti ganggu adik. Huhu. nak buat mcmana, dah sejak azali.. aku mmg suka kacau orang. Aku dulu ingat aku ni baik, tapi bila kengkawan kata aku mmg suka kacau orang, jadi betullah. Nak buat mcmana. I just wanna have fun, and make people happy. Kalau tak berjaya sorry la. I m a normal human being ok!

Aku sangat berharap agar aku dapat jadi seorang sahabat, teman dan kawan yang terbaik. Aku tidak mahu hanya muncul seketika, tapi aku nak selamanya. For me, friendship is my priority. Tanpa kawan2 aku rasa sangat bosan, walaupun aku boleh hidup sendirian.

Tapi, setakat ni, teman aku yang setia, adik aku la. Dia mmg yang terbaik. TQ adik!

Adik.. kuatkan semangat ko. Jgn rapuh sangat! hadapi masa depan dengan tabah. Apa yang berlaku lupakan lah. Kau boleh. Mmg perit, tapi dgn usaha, Insyallah ko boleh. Ko jgn lagi cakap ko dah buntu, takde jalan lain. Ada adik. percayala cakap abng ko ni. Banyak pintu yang ko boleh buka. Masa depan ko di tangan ko. Jgn ko sia2 siakan. You are indeed special! and i really mean it.

aku nak tulis mcm2, tapi tah... rasa mcm tak sesuai je nak letak kat sini. Aku just nak ucap TQ pada semua kawan2 aku, dimana saja kalian. Kalau ada salah silap aku, harap di maafkan. Aku manusia biasa, tak lepas dari buat dosa. tak lepas dari buat salah..


And to My sis and my mum too. dorang dua ni la byk bagi semangat kat aku.

Kepada mak, TQ so much for your Doa. I know you faced a lot, semasa aku kat sini. mcm2 dugaan mak terima, tapi moga semua akan berakhir. Terima kasih pada semua doa, solat malam mak yang tak jemu2. Aku mmg tak pandai zahirkan kata2 terima kasih pada mak, cuma aku harap aku dapat buat mak bahagia.

I love you guys so much!


TQ

I was jogging when this song came up.....

I was jogging when this song came up. It struck me like a lightning.

For once, I sat down, and...... (*sigh*)


~I m not THAT strong!~

Sepi hati terjadi lagi
Mungkin sampai mati aku sepi
Biar senyum hadir di hariku
namun ini hanya ada di bibir
di bibir saja

Aku ini yang bisa mengerti
walaupun yang lain mau mengerti
Namun berat beban hidupku
biarkan saja
Biar saja hanya ku yang tahu

Sejarah cinta dan hidupku
penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh
untuk tetap ku berdiri

ada saatnya ku bicara
bila hatiku telah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
aku tetap diam

sejarah cinta dan hidupku
penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
butuh kesabaran yang penuh
untuk tetap ku berdiri

ada saatnya ku bicara
bila hatiku telah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
aku tetap diam

To those who in need...

"Let It Be Me"

There may come a time, a time in everyones life
Where nothin seems to go your way
Where nothing seems to turn out right
There may come a time, you just cant seem to find your place
For every door you walk on to, seems like they get slammed in your face
Thats when you need someone, someone that you can call.
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you cant go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If its a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Feels like your always commin on home
Pockets full of nothin and you got no cash
No matter where you turn you aint got no place to stand
Reach out for something and they slap your hand
Now i remember all to well
Just how it feels to be all alone
You feel like youd give anything
For just a little place you can call your own
Thats when you need someone, someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you cant go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If its a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me

Love his music.. Ray Lamontagne.

His songs are all so meaningful. I just simply love them all. So calming and relaxing and...real!

Ray Lamontagne Empty Lyrics:
She lifts her skirt up to her knees
Walks through the garden rows with
her bare feet, laughing
I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters

Walk on down the hill
Through the grass grown tall and brown
And still it's hard somehow to let go of my pain
On past the busted back
Of that old and rusted Cadillac
That sinks into this field collecting rain

Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged

Of these cutthroat busted sunsets
These cold and damp white mornings I have grown weary
If through my cracked and dusty dimestore lips
I spoke these words out loud would no one hear me

Lay your blouse across the chair
Let fall the flowers from your hair
And kiss me with that country mouth so plain
Outside the rain is tapping on the leaves
To me it sounds like they're applauding us
The quiet love we've made

Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged

Well I looked my demons in the eye
Laid bare my chest said do your best destroy me
See I've been to hell and back so many times
I must admit you kinda bore me

There's a lot of things that can kill a man
There's a lot of ways to die
Yes and some already dead who walk beside me
There's a lot of things I don't understand
Why so many people lie
Well it's the hurt I hide that
fuels the fires inside me

Mother .......?

I hope it will make me stay awake.... the whole night! la la la...

it made me smile... so manomantic!

I am having writer's block since last night. I have started typing my assignment since a few days ago. However, once I read it, I realized that I was talking nonsense. I was so .... out. So, last night I decided to go to the movie and watch "I love you, Man."

No! Dont get me wrong! and dont literally read the title and judge. It is not about homosexuality. It is about a guy who is so busy working, and he has been mixing with many girls, and finally he realizes that he does not have a best male friend! He has got some male friends, but none of them can be regarded as his best male friend. His mission is to try to go out with as many male species as possible and try to find a true 'male best friend!' This is definitely a movie which I can relate too. Really! huhu.

My advice... go watch and laugh!

I was laughing rather loudly, until the old couple sat next to me said " You did enjoy the movie, didnt you?"

hahaha! I did!!!

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I LOVE YOU, MAN. . . . (5 stars) ------ for being so manomantic!

Gambar awek ku...

Presenting... Cik Ca... yang menemani aku sentiasa sekarang! I love you Ca!
Tanpa mu aku... mati! OWh! Happily ever after!

Posh? Am I? Posho!

My really close friend, back in Malaysia, would always refer me as a posh guy! What? Posh? According Oxford Dictionary, posh means:
1. Elegant and expensive.
2. Stylish.

So which one does she refer me to? I don’t know. I don’t see myself as posh. I just simply wear or buy what I like. And, as mentioned in my previous post, I am a smart buyer. So, bargain is my mission. Anyway, my new friends might not know me that much, but she (my best friend) has known me for ages, and she knows what type of guy I am. Might be it is how she views me, that makes me posh. Haha! And I have just realised that those high class and stylish people are being called as posho! Am I a posho?

Ok! So I had some chats with couple of friends. We talked about hantaran kahwin. For me, I want everything to be a surprise. I m NOT gonna go and buy something, which later will be decorated and they will be returned back to me? Apa ni? What is the purpose of doing so? Haiyo! What a waste. I would love the girl’s side, buy things for me, and I don’t know about them. So that, later I’ll be surprised.

But then, my friend said, what if they buy me things that I don’t like. Hmm.. It does make sense. What if they give me a football boot? What about a fishing rod, or petroleum voucher? Owh no! I’ll lose my posh-iness! Haha. No.. My point is, it is kind of difficult for people to understand my taste. And that is why I have never ever received presents. Haha! EH! I did. Some!...

Some presents... hmm... yeah! I m going to throw them away tomorrow. ! A bonia belt and wallet. Owh! Come on! Since she is now no longer attached to me, so I can kutuk! OMG! I am in my twenties and she gave me BONIA? Owh! My! Come on! Bonia is meant for pensioners, meant for elderly, senior people. I was trying to give her some clues that.. Hallo! Takdak brand lain ka? But she just didn’t get it! Then, kalau kata lebih2, merajuk. So... pakai je la. But tomorrow, officially, I’ll dump them! La la la ! so happy! So, what would be ‘my brands’? Mine is simple. Just go to Jusco! Haaaa... berlambak! I just love Padini, seed, guess, Giordano etc. Those are meant for yuppie like me. Hehe.. yuppie ke? And their price.. reasonable wei! So that is why my wardrobe penuh these brands. I did buy some brands for seniors, once in a while, ya la.. just nak ingatkan diri that I am actually getting old, but I just don’t like them. Not just yet. Give me 5 more years, then, I’ll worship Bonia. Haha.

Now ! My current fav is FCUK. Why? I don’t know! I just like it. And I m NOT into expensive brands like topman (eh? Topman mampu lagi kot?), LV, Kenneth Cole. Guzzman, Armani, Gucci, Bally bla bla since nanti tak kena gaya pulak. Dah la I am the selebet type, kang baju hebat sure orang kata, alah.. siam mari la tu.. so better not!. But I m aiming to buy some things from Gucci, Armani (maybe), paul smith, paul frank, prada, D&G and of course Zegna! Huhu. Mampu kah? Tapi I am going to wait.. sapa nak kasi aku hadiah from these brands... ada berani?

Ok ok.... dah melalut, back to the story, hantaran. Ok... my friend said, “hang ni nak branded bukan main, nanti hang suruh pihak perempuan beli, tup2 hang dapat minyak wangi Dashing! Padan muka!” BaMM! Betul juga kata member aku tu! Haha. So maybe tak jadi suruh dorang beli. But, hmm... what if I provide them with my wish list. Boleh ka? Haha

Ok! Aku bukan la riak takabbur, just that, I want people to realise how people out there perceive branded items like... as if brand is the only thing! oWh come on! It is not!

I had once worn a very cheap shirt, but my friend said “baju ko ni semua mahal2.” I did not say anything. I just smiled. Haha! Was it her, or was it me?

Owh! It getting early since it is 6am now. Hehe. So I better sign off.

To my old friends, (you know who you are) you guys know me and who I am.

To my new friends, you know me, but.... not knowing me just yet! Hahaha.

Nah! I m just kidding! I love you guys.


As a reminder: for my upcoming b’day, Gucci satu! Thanks!

Retail therapy

Retail therapy... OMG!!

It is 5am...AGAIN... and I am as fresh as a pickle. Hehe. Owh! My!
First of all, I really need to adjust my body-clock! It is getting hay-wire. I read somewhere, in order for someone to change or alter their body-clock he or she has to expose the back of his/her knee too bright light. Owh my! Somebody! Please lend me your torchlight. Ok! I guess later lah.

Owh! Today I went shopppinggggg! Yeah! Sounds so fag, but I just can’t help it. I m sooo used to it! I would spend some money when I am down or frustrated. So, today, I went shopping! I was like OMG... OMG... OMG here and there. I don’t know, what sale it is, but certainly sale... people... help me!

I guess I m not going to NZ since the swine flu has been perceived as pandemic. Obviously, it would be much worse. So, instead, I can do some more shopping.

Now... people.... not that I am girlish, I don’t but girly things, just that I want to have new life. I want to start new life. I want to become the improved and better zaki. I don’t want to be the same old me. Lame!

Ok.... I went empty handed. I was carrying my bag – as usual- nothing else. After ‘hawking’ around for hours... guess what? I had bags.... all over me. But, I don’t care, I am happy! What did I buy? Good question!

1. 2 Fossil Wallet – one for me, and the other, I don’t know! Actually I like both, I couldn’t decide, so I bought both. Reason, nak kasi orang. Lame!
2. Giordano shirt! I don’t know what is wrong with Australian. In Malaysia, people have to kumpul duit to buy Giordano, but here, Giordano is like... nothing. So I bought la, Since I like the shirt!
3. Blaq belt.- whoa! This belt is reversible. So, if I am bored, I can always pusing. Yeah! 2 in 1, that is what I call bargain hunter and smart shopper.
4. Tripod – I have been looking for a tripod for my lovely Canon. Finally, found it! Yeah! I am sooooo over the moon.
5. A shirt for a friend. A friend of mine asked me to buy a shirt for her BF. So I bought la.
6. Some souvenirs for my male friends. Female friends, I haven’t decided. Huhu.

What? That is it? No more? You must be kidding! I guess I have to go again. ALASAN.

By the way, I have fallen in love with a few things. They are:

1. Lonsdale bag... waaa! So nice one! Can bawak to class, at the same time..
2. Esprit bag!.. walauweee.. lawa!
3. CK shirt! Damn cheap! Should I get it? Hmm...
4. Levis jean. Well I m not into Levis... so I don’t know!
5. Industrie’s wrist watch! Should I? Or should I not?
6. A very handsome long LEE black jeans jacket. Owh! I just can’t help it! I m in love. But, if I bought it, Malaysian in Malaysia will look at me and say “Gila ka panas2 pakai mcm tu.” So no for me.
7. Suspender.. I have always dream of wearing one. Just want to look a bit nerd. Huhu.
8. Wii.. Should I buy it here?
9. Perfume. I must be serious! I will spend a day just to visit all perfume outlets and buy at least 2 more. La la la la.
10. Previously I bought 2 slacks. Owh my! They have really good slacks. In Malaysia so hampeh one. The design and cutting .... OMG... so bad. I think, I’ll buy more. I hope I won’t get fat!

Now now! I didn’t bring much money. So guess what. La la la.. Thank you CC. Hehe.

C ya later...

aku dikelilingi hantu-hantu

To be surrounded by 'hantus' , u must be a hantu yourself. hehehe
malam ni aku tak tido awal jugak. aku layan lagu jiwang. Update my mp3 player. and then download some indon songs. Semua lagu jiwang. Shared some with julia, mimin. Tak tau nak buat apa. Then.. bila dok dengar2 lagu tu... 2 lagu ni terpacul... aiyo sangat relevan!



kadang-kadang kita kata kalau terjadi something kepada sesuatu perhubungan tu, mesti salah lelaki. Ada lelaki yanng bermanis kata dengan wanita. Ada yang sudah kawin mengaku belum kahwin. Ada lelaki yang sudah berkahwin, tetapi cari lain. Ada lelaki curang. Ada lelaki yang itu, ada lelaki ini.

tetapi, penah tak korang tengok di pihak perempuan pulak? pernah tak cuba tgk salah perempuan. sekarang.. ada yang dah janji kasih dengan lelaki, tetapi lelaki ditinggalkan. ada yang sudah diikat janji, di simpul tunang, tunang melayang, ada yang sudah berkahwin, keluar rumah mencari lain. pernah tak korang terfikir?

semua ini permainan yang tidak hanya boleh disalahkan pada satu pihak. manusia bermacam ragam. ada yang jujur setia, ada yang mengelat sentiasa. ada yang berpegang janji, ada yang sanggup mungkiri, ada yang tunggu mati, ada juga tak senang hati, membawa diri pergi.

semua ini lumrah dunia. Malam ni sahabat ku berkata, "You are a strong guy! I just couldnt face it, if i were you." My answer was simple: If it does not kill, it builds.
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... here it goes...
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di sekeliling kita ada bermacam ragam manusia. ada yang suka tertawa, ada yang suka buat orang tertawa, ada juga yang tertawa sendirian.

ada yang bermasalah, ada yang suka cari masalah, ada yang lari dari masalah, ada juga yang pura-pura takde masalah.

begitu juga dengan hati budi. ada yang baik budi, ada juga yang busuk hati. ada jugak yang berhasrat dengki tak kurang juga yang mungkir janji.

ada yang suka bercerita, ada yang suka dengar cerita, tak kurang juga yang suka buat cerita, dan juga yang tak tahu apa nak cerita. yang malang ialah mereka yang jadi bahan cerita. apa pun nak kena jaga, maruah diri dan keluarga, kalau semua jadi cerita, orang dengar pun bosan juga.

begitu juga dengan kesabaran. ada yang sabar dengan dugaan. ada yang tidak mampu tahan. ada yang cuma lihat kesabaran, tapi buka langkah terus jalan.

janji pun mcm tu. ada yang suka buat janji. ada yang main-main janji. begitu juga yang tak pandai tepati janji, bila dapat susah lain yang jadi.

begitu juga dengan yang suka pura-pura. ada yang berpura-pura kerana nak nama. ada yang pura-pura kerana terpaksa, tidak kurang juga yang hanya nak jaga, nama baik diri dan keluarga. semua sama

cerita sama juga yang menipu. ada orang suka menipu. kemudian ada juga yang tertipu. ada yang rasa tertipu. dan ada juga yang mengaku dia tak tipu, tapi hanya Allah yang tahu.

ada orang sedih setiap waktu. ada yang angin tak menentu. ada yang cemburu bagai peluru, tak kurang juga yang bertindak melulu.

begitu juga yang tak tahu malu, cakap konon aku semua tahu, tapi semua tipu. konon macam sangat laku, tapi kalau tgk kuku, semua berkematu.

kisah manusis berbagai ragam. yang alim ulama, juga yang banyak lemak, begitu juga yang tergamak, tinggal kekasih kerana hendak, harta bendak kononnya banyak.

hati kita orang sentuh hari-hari, tak kira disayangi atau dilukai. sekali berdiri, tak semestinya kita takkan jatuh lagi. kerana selagi bernafas, kita kena hadapi, setiap apa yang terjadi, kerana itu lah janji, sejak hakiki.

kalau nak ikut rasa hati, dah lama aku lari. sebab hati luka, tidak terperi. tetapi aku sedar. takkan kemana jika lari, kerana yang terjadi telah terjadi. nak ungkit pun tak guna lagi, cuma satu ku pinta, jangan kau muncul lagi.

kalau berkasih biar berpada, jangan hanya pandang di muka, hati pun nak kena kira juga. kalau elok hatinya, elok jugalah pekertinya.

rupa paras boleh menipu. yang nampaknya baik, tak semestinya begitu, kalau dah di uji barulah tahu. semua yang berlaku tak seiring begitu.

Aku berjanji pada diriku, akan ku buka buku baru. Buku lama biar aku bakar, agar terus hatiku tak tercalar. Bukan merungut, cuma mengenang, apa yang jadi hadapi dengan hati yang lapang. kerana aku percaya takdir Tuhan, Dia sudah aturkan. Apa yang terjadi Dia tentukan.

Maruah diri nak kena jaga, kalau di biar tercemar pula. kan susah, semua kena.

Wahai kawan-kawan sekalian. Hiduplah hidup dengan hidup!


Hargailah apa yang anda ada, Kasih sayang keluarga, kasih sayang yang tercinta, tak kira suami, isteri, tunang atau sesiapa. Jangan lah kita buat orng derita kerana kita juga tak mahu derita.

Kalau nak buat apa, pikir berkali, agar tidak nanti disesali, salahkan diri tak henti-henti, sampai masa menunggu mati.

Aku manusia. kamu manusia.... Syaitan ada di sekeliling kita.

to my adik

You say you're falling apart
Reached the end of the line
Just looking for your place in an oridnary life
No one calls you friend
No one even knows your name
You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain

You no longer have to say
No one's listening anyway

Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you 'til it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let My arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I'll love you more than life

You're wearing a frown
Given up on hope
My heart is reaching out
More then you will ever know
Is your burden too much?
Is it more then you can bear?
I'll help carry the load if you're willing to share

You have had some hard times
Had thorns placed in your side
I know about what you've been going through
tears of pain are falling down
It hurts so bad you're crying out
Your problems won't last forever

Let Me put you back together

everything will be ok.

I m tired ...Should I weep or wail?

I just dont know how to describe the emotion tsunami that I have at the moment. Everything seems to be "carca marba." I just dont know, what am I doing.

I m not referring to my assignments. duuh! But I m thinking about me. yup My life. What is going to happen to me? Waaa.a.a.a.aaa!

Sometimes I think, I mess with other people's business. I poke my nose on other people's affair. What am I doing? What will happen if they hate me for that? I cant afford to be hated. I just dont want to feel hated. Help me!

I mess with my adik's business. What will happen if adik hates me for that? Well.. Adik! I did not mean to be nosy. I just want the best for you. You are a good Adik. Even though you keep on scrutinizing yourself. I think you should stop that la Adik. Whatever the thing is, I will always keep my promise. It is not normal for me for not keeping my promise. But do forgive me for my nosy-ness. I just care TOO MUCH about you. Sorry. I just cant help it. I look at you, and I see myself. There is a part of you that is so apparent, and it reflects me. That is why, I just can not see you sad or suffer. Nosy, I am! Busy body, I am! Just that, I hope that you will not learn to hate me. No adik! no!

It is so suprising how time passes. I just dont realize that I have been like this - sit here doing my works- for more than two weeks. It is like a world record for me. I have never been this passive before.

I looked into the mirror today. I realize that the signs of ageing have become visible. I have never thought that I would survive until now. I thought I would have long gone. Kapoof! But, it has been 29 years old, and I am still breathing. Thank you Allah.

My life, just like others, full of ups and downs. To me, I have survived some, and I do hope I will survive more. My experiences, bad or good have built me. I just cant wait to see what future has for me.

I m still thinking about my future. I am now 29 years old and still no sign of settling down. I m afraid that I will learn to like my current life, and just keep on going like this.. forever. But, deep down, I know.. there is a part where the need to change is struggling. Owh my!

Owh my! Another dream demolished! I have to start another dream. What dream should I dream? Why that dream should I dream?

I think my life sucks. or it might be not. I m so confused. What should I do?

I m hungry, and my stomach starts its weirdness lately. I m just scared that it would become worse.

I do not manage to sleep properly. I just cant. I m tired, but my eyes, my brain, just would not switch off. My brain needs a switch. Or should I bump my head to the wall? Talking about my head, it was kind of weird when 2 days ago I spotted a painful bump on my head. I did not 'terhantuk' anywhere. Anyway, it has dissappeared.

Owh! I need to continue on working! There are so many things I want to put to words, just that I dont think it will be appropriate.

I want to fly away. away.. and away. I smile, but, do i really mean it? Should i weep instead? I should? maybe. Maybe not.

Kita perlu tido.... kita sedih!

Kita tahu kita sayang seseorang bila kita ambil berat keatas dia.
Bila dia tidak muncul, kita nanti kemunculannya.
Tidak muncul, kita rasa gelisah resah.
Kita risau sesuatu terjadi kepada dia.
Dia sudah menjadi sebahagian dari hidup kita.
Sakit dia, sakitlah kita.
Suka dia, sukalah juga kita.

Kita harap semua yang terbaik untuk dia.
Kita mahu dia gembira.
Kita mahu dia selamat dari apa jua.
Itu cara kita ambil berat.
Cara kita sayang dia.

Kerana kita tahu beban yang dia tanggung.
Kita faham rasa dia.
Kita tahu gejolak sanubari dia.
Kita hulur tangan tanda persaudaraan.
Bukan main-main.
Kerana kita sayang dia.

Dia menyakitkan diri
Kita turut merasa.
Kerana kita tak mahu kehilangan dia.
Kerana kita sayang dia.
Bila dia buat sesuatu benda.
Kita harap benda itu baik untuk dia.
Tetapi kalau kita tahu benda itu tidak baik buat dia.
Tapi dia masih buat juga.
Kita kata apa dia tak kira.
Kerana itu hidup dia
Kita sedih mengenangkan dia.

Kita sayang dia.
Kita nak tengok dia bahagia.
Kita doa untuk dia dijauhkan segala bala.
Tapi dia cari jalan bahaya juga.
Kita sedih.
Kenapa?

sebab....

DIA ADIK KITA!

Owh mY! Owh My!

The tense is building. I m feeling like fleeing out NOW and have fun! I need some fun. However, I dont really think I can enjoy myself at the moment. I have 5 assignments to be completed and submitted in two weeks time. One of the assignments is so damn difficult, well not THAT difficult, but tedious!. Analysing data! Owh my! It is indeed a killer subject! I hope I will survive (Praying!!)
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I was - still am- bored! So I picked my handphone and snapped some things I saw, perceived rather interesting. (Not to you I guees?!) anyway, it is my blog so I deserve all the right to post whatever... ha ha ha
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just joking!
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I was thinking of taking some "extremely" degrading photos, but I guess, with my heart of an angel, I would never do that. Haha!
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Here I want to share some interesting books that I am currently reading (once in a while) and hope to finish them soon.
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I dont like heavy reading! I love something simple, something easy, like children books, or books meant for teenager, as I would love to indulge myself with happy thoughts. huhu!
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First, presenting (drum roll......)
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My Life Is a Boob Tube.

By the way.. do you know what is a boob tube? Haha! Do you know what boob is? haha! if you know, i guess you'll definitely know what does Boob Tube mean.
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. I am actually a fan... (Hell No! not boob tube fan .. geezzz! Mind you!) a fan of Fleur Trotter (the main character in this book, and some books that I'll describe later). I m collecting Fleur Trotter's books. She is hilarious. By the way, I havent read this book.. (he he he) but I have read her other books, as presented below. So let me describe later... (jump jump!)
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Ok! My life is a toilet is actually the first book in the series of Fleur Trotter's. It describes Fleur's life, how she met her BF, how she was stranded at a Paradise Island, How she hated her family, how funny she is etc etc.. hey! you guys should read it! It is funny, witty and yak yak yak!
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Below is actually her last book. Just imagine, in nearly 10 pages, she describes how she is trying to pee in a bush, at the same time she is trying to ears-dropped her family's meeting, which she reckons would be her family plans in celebrating her Bday!. it is funny and... yak yak yak! Owh she broke up with her BF. What an irony? why? She told him that she kissed another guy! She just wanted to make him jealous. Haha! Aiyok! you guys should read it!


Awh! Man and Boy... it is a masterpiece.. it evolves around a guy's life after his wife left him. Why? He slept with another lady! haha! why? that lady has beautiful long legs. haha.
Ok.. then his wife left him with his son. So they live together. and as a single parent, he has to face public scrunity.its a good book. he, the father, learns a lot from his son. So shuweettttt!
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want to know more? Read la!

I m bored.. and I dont know why I am writing this! huhuhu!

life changing experience....

Susan Boyle
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There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we'll live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So much different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed. .
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Adalah living proof yang menunjukkan sometimes, satu benda yang kita buat mengikut hati akan mengubah kehidupan kita totally. yup! indeed it is true. Just imagine, at the age of 48, from a nobody, she has gained worldwide fame. The pressure is unbearable. I guess she has to face a lot. Trust me, it is not easy to be IN the limelight.
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From her performance, it can be seen clearly how terrified she is. At her age, I dont think fame is all what she after. It is just like a couple of things that you are dying to do. As for us, we might have different set of ambitions altogether, but for her, just to be able to stand there, and sing, would be a like heaven. She did it!
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Her first performance was indeed much better that her performances after. As the tension was building, we couldnt affort perfection. Anyway, she nailed it. It can be seen how relieved she was after her performance. She is actually a shy chatter-box.
Well, it does worth it! All the critics, could actually kill her or make her. She smiles her way through.
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let us stop talking about Ms Boyle for a while. Let us focus on reality. About ourselves. Are we proud of ourselves ? What have we done so far that we can actually turn our heads and say.. "Hey! I did that!" How many of us have actually done that? You? yes! what about you?
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As for me, this very moment, here in Sydney is indeed a life changing experience that I would never EVER forget. Nobody would know the things I had, have and will endure. If I were to stop and weep, it would be ages ago. But, I didnt!
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These couple of weeks make me realise so many things that I have never thought of before. No wonder, I am not able to sleep, my brain just cant stop thinking, reflecting and reasoning.
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In a few more week, I hope, I would be like Ms Boyle. I hope I will be able to look back and say, "Wow! I did that!"
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To some, they would say, "what is all the fuss. It is not that you have to loose your dignity or something." For me, my dignity has been sacrificed months ago. I made decisions that I was not even sure of the result. I made some wrong decisions, but with Allah's will, I guess, I survive!
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or....
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Will I?