I m tired ...Should I weep or wail?

I just dont know how to describe the emotion tsunami that I have at the moment. Everything seems to be "carca marba." I just dont know, what am I doing.

I m not referring to my assignments. duuh! But I m thinking about me. yup My life. What is going to happen to me? Waaa.a.a.a.aaa!

Sometimes I think, I mess with other people's business. I poke my nose on other people's affair. What am I doing? What will happen if they hate me for that? I cant afford to be hated. I just dont want to feel hated. Help me!

I mess with my adik's business. What will happen if adik hates me for that? Well.. Adik! I did not mean to be nosy. I just want the best for you. You are a good Adik. Even though you keep on scrutinizing yourself. I think you should stop that la Adik. Whatever the thing is, I will always keep my promise. It is not normal for me for not keeping my promise. But do forgive me for my nosy-ness. I just care TOO MUCH about you. Sorry. I just cant help it. I look at you, and I see myself. There is a part of you that is so apparent, and it reflects me. That is why, I just can not see you sad or suffer. Nosy, I am! Busy body, I am! Just that, I hope that you will not learn to hate me. No adik! no!

It is so suprising how time passes. I just dont realize that I have been like this - sit here doing my works- for more than two weeks. It is like a world record for me. I have never been this passive before.

I looked into the mirror today. I realize that the signs of ageing have become visible. I have never thought that I would survive until now. I thought I would have long gone. Kapoof! But, it has been 29 years old, and I am still breathing. Thank you Allah.

My life, just like others, full of ups and downs. To me, I have survived some, and I do hope I will survive more. My experiences, bad or good have built me. I just cant wait to see what future has for me.

I m still thinking about my future. I am now 29 years old and still no sign of settling down. I m afraid that I will learn to like my current life, and just keep on going like this.. forever. But, deep down, I know.. there is a part where the need to change is struggling. Owh my!

Owh my! Another dream demolished! I have to start another dream. What dream should I dream? Why that dream should I dream?

I think my life sucks. or it might be not. I m so confused. What should I do?

I m hungry, and my stomach starts its weirdness lately. I m just scared that it would become worse.

I do not manage to sleep properly. I just cant. I m tired, but my eyes, my brain, just would not switch off. My brain needs a switch. Or should I bump my head to the wall? Talking about my head, it was kind of weird when 2 days ago I spotted a painful bump on my head. I did not 'terhantuk' anywhere. Anyway, it has dissappeared.

Owh! I need to continue on working! There are so many things I want to put to words, just that I dont think it will be appropriate.

I want to fly away. away.. and away. I smile, but, do i really mean it? Should i weep instead? I should? maybe. Maybe not.