Wednesday, February 24, 2010

All Good Things...

Haida lent me her CDs. In one of them I found this song. I love it! .... It is sung by Nelly Furtado.

Enjoy its lyrics... it means deep. really DEEP!
All Good Things (Come To An End)

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus:]Flames to dust

Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why


Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die


Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could DIE

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I know what you did last CNY! pt 1

Dear all.

I dont know how to describe the joy that I had last week. I didnt have full 7 days holiday like the rest of school teachers, but I did enjoy it! even not to the fullest. By any chance I would love to extend it, but the problem is ...I couldnt! T_T. Here, in this limited space, I 'll try my best to describe the short holiday that I had. Tiring.. indeed.

Friday ( 12 February 2010)

The day started as usual. Tiring! I had to go to work and got to settle tonnes of works (again as usual!) however that day I was so highly spirited. My bro was coming home. Yeay! I miss his company a lot. He had a week holiday and he had bought expensive ticket too. I usually stay alone at home, with his company at least I am not that bored. There would always be somebody to disturb. He was free that Friday even though at first he said he had test, he had quiz, he had class, but around 10 am, I received a very beautiful mms from him. OMG! He was working on a project. He was so busy with his artsy project. If I am not mistaken, he has to prepare 22 artworks for the whole semester. Gosh! Since he is taking PSV (Visual Arts Education) no wonder la he has to work so hard. And I do understand his situation. I had worked on artworks also before and to tell you the truth I couldnt sleep just because of that. My case would be a bit different. I couldnt work if the sun is out and about. So I will start working after midnite. So I couldnt sleep, of course.

My bro's work! nice eh? *2 thumbs up*

Back to the story, my bro took a train from Seremban to KL. He did arrive in KL early. His bus to Penang was scheduled to be around 4.30. UNFORTUNATELY, his bus had been postponed from an hour to 4 HOURS. He was so pissed off. To add in the excitement, he realised that the price that he had to pay for the ticket was much more expensive than other passengers. He had to be there for hours and all he got to know was that he had to pay more. gosh! Buses these days! Around 7.30++ the bus did arrive and off he departed from the smelly and hot PUDU. In the bus he did blab a bit, but after that he dozed off, (actually he did not, but his phone was! haha).

My sister called me around 9.00pm asking me to arrive at my kampung earlier since my mum was planning to have a kenduri. I dared not drive after 12 am since I would surely know that my eyes would not even stay open even for 5 mins. So I told her that I would arrive at my kampung after suboh!

My bro arrived in Butterworth around 1 am. At that time I was on my bed, trying to sleep. Upon receiving his call, I woke up and off to fetch him at the bus terminal. He was so tired. I was tired too. When we arrived home, off to bed! zzzzz

Saturday ( 13 February 2010)

I woke up really early since my mom wanted me to arrive home early. I tried to wake by bro. I insisted him to follow me since I know there will be tonnes of food prepared for the kenduri. Well to tell you the truth, when there is a kenduri at my house, and when my eldest sister, Kak Chaq and my sis in law, Kak Yang, are around, they would surely prepare delicacies. Usually there would always be many leftovers. Hmm.. that was why I wanted my bro to join me since I know my bro loves food A LOT!. If he stayed at my 'rumah burung' alone, there was definitely no food available and he had to go and buy some. After some attempts, my bro couldnt get up! My sister called me and kinda gave me a slight angry tone since I hadnt arrived. So, I resulted in going home alone without my bro. My bro was still sleeping. I was a bit pissed off, but what to do, he was tired. So I let him slept. I rushed back to my kampung, Parit Buntar.

When I arrived, it was around 8.oo am, I was so shocked to see that there were only 3 cars. Baak's volvo, B.Jun's wira and K.Chaq's Spectra. Where were the rest! I thought they were all ready for the kenduri. As I stepped into the living room, I felt like exploding. Why? Most of the males in my family were still sleeping! wargh!!!! Felt like burning the house. I was rushing madly just to think that every body was awake and ready to roll, but then... sigh! I was so frustrated. Luckily nothing bad happened to me (since I was speeding like mad on my way back! sigh)... frust and mad indeed. I kept quite for like an hour! Like I always do! :p

The ladies were all getting prepared for the kenduri and they were all in the kitchen cutting this and that, frying this and that. Baak was awake and he asked me to help him with the rock mellon.

This is rock mellon (if you havent seen one before.)
The peeled rock mellons

For the kenduri, the rock mellons were freshly picked from their farm in Puchong. My bro in law grows them. He wants orang kampung to try them. He brought home all the way from Puchong. That morning I was incharged of peeling off the skin of these rock mellons. To tell you the truth the skin is rather thick. huhu! But it was an easy job!

After that, as usual, I couldnt sit still. I must keep my hand on something. I must do something. To just sit there and do nothing would definitely not me. So I started to gibble here and there and finally, I was the one incharged of the dining table and I had to prepare the table for breakfast.

Some of the food for brekky! (havent been arranged just yet. lambak je!)

As i mentioned earlier there were tonnes of food. For breakfast we had nasi lemak, satay, cakes, this and that....! The table was full with food. Once everybody got ready, around 9.30 we had our breakfast.

My anak2 sedara were having their brekky by the paddy field!

Owh, not to forget, before that Kakak and EE arrived from Klang. Two more cars were added in front of my mom's house. Now the compound was full with cars. EE had to stop several times along the way since the highway was full with traffic. He nearly hit the car in front of him since he was so sleepy. The traffic jam was bad. So he had to stop like 4 times. Stopped and went to sleep. Fortunately, all my family members were able to make it before the kenduri. My makcik, pakcik, pak long, pak ngah, all of them made it to the kenduri. My mom was so happy! It had been her doa' since our previous kenduri.

Talking about our prevoius kenduri in 2008, to tell you the truth, we (the whole family) were VERY dissappointed since it was not properly organised. The kenduri doa selamat which meant for me (as that time I was leaving to further my study in sydney) and for my mum since she had just recovered from a terrible sickness, did not turn out well. Guests did not turn up! Only some managed to attend. There were many food left. My mom was sad! And becoz of that, she planned another kenduri which happened last CNY. This time around, the kenduri was a success!! My mum smiled all the way!

2b continued...

akibat terlalu dekat

Akibat Terlalu Dekat

Seorang penjual telur sedang sibuk di kedainya. Seorang pelanggannya yang sedang memilih telur ingin menguji kebijaksanaan si penjual telur. Dalam diam dia mengambil sebiji telur dan digenggamnya di dalam tangannya.
“Jika awak bijak cuba teka apa yang ada di dalam tangan saya ini?” katanya pelanggan itu menunjukkan genggamannya. “Cuba berikan aku bayangan,” pinta penjual telur. “Benda ini bentuknya seperti telur,” ujar pelanggan. “Lagi?” “Warnanya seperti telur.” “Lagi?” rayu penjual telur lagi. Pelanggan tersebut menggeleng-gelengkan kepalanya lantas berkata: “Belum cukup lagi? Baiklah, jika dimasak rasanya seperti telur. Ia cair dalam keadaan biasa tetapi bila dipanaskan ia menjadi pepejal.”
Penjual telur masih terpinga-pinga. “Tolong berikan lagi pembayang yang lebih hampir.” “Di dalamnya ada cecair yang berwarna putih mengelilingi warna kuning!” Setelah berfikir panjang, penjual telur menjerit: “Aku tahu jawapannya! Ia sejenis kuih!” Pelanggan menggeleng-geleng kepala. Lantas membuka genggamannya. Ya, hanya sebiji telur…………apalagi?
Manusia sering menjadi ‘buta’ dengan apa yang terlalu hampir dengan dirinya. Orang yang paling hampir selalu dipinggirkan, tetapi apabila orang itu sudah tiada, baru terasa kehilangannya. Ya, kerap kali sesuatu itu tidak dapat dilihat bukan kerana terlalu jauh, tetapi kerana terlalu dekat.

This is what I usually feel..... so close but yet, so far!... care more for me please....

I miss you!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Heart of Life

As I was browsing through some songs, then I found this song! It sounds soo soothing! I checked its lyrics.. hmm not bad! So people, try to appreciate the song! I will try to post the video soon, I mean once I get a hold on to my lappy. huhu.

To my bro, read the lyrics and think deep.

"The Heart Of Life" - John Mayer
I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then, circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

VVIP+language camp = brain damage

I m quite shocked when I was called to my boss’s office yesterday. She wanted to break the “good” news to me. I could feel that something bad was coming, so I gathered all my might and walked into her room.

Yup! Indeed! He informed me that our unit’s English Camp (intended to participants from 4 polys in northern region) would have to be postponed. I was.. yeay! Why? Since I have been appointed as the project manager, I have been working for the proposal for the past few weeks. I got a sample from an ex-colleague of mine, so I have edited and submitted it, so now I can just throw them away. But, keep your seatbelt intact coz worse is coming...

Let me first describe how I want the camp to be. I want to have a simple yet memorable English Camp where at the end of the camp, the participants would feel tired and satisfied. A few hiccups here and there would be ok, but, I want participants to come to me and say, “En… We want more!” That is all I want it to be. But my boss is a bit ambitious. She wants it to be big and if possible she wants the press to know about the camp. By looking at the number of staff here, I m really sure that there is nothing much can be done. I can now see their colors. I have spent the last 6 months observing them, and now I know who can work well, and who would be the benchwarmers. In all, work here would be more tedious than my previous workplace. Here everything needs to be 'grand' and everything must involve everybody, doesn’t matter whether he or she is willing to participate or not. The tension builds when those benchwarmers have the time to enjoy and relax, while the others have to perspire their kidney out (wow! Absurd choice of word).

There is this one staff, which I really think, wants to be the project manager so bad. Today he told me that he is not really believe that I can do it since I have no experience in doing or conducting such activity before. He keeps on telling me that the activities for the camp must be this and that. Gosh! I guess he doesn’t know me.

Previously, years ago, I handled English camp too. We invited some staffs from other polys and of course participants from our own. To tell you the truth, --well, I m not trying to boast--- but I was the one who made the camp livelier. I created the judging system, the flags, polished up the activities and most of all, I kind of ran the whole show too. The main project manager handled a few things and later he did other things which I can’t recall. He talked a lot about this and that but lastly, it was I, and of course with some help from others, who ran the whole program.

Not to forget the English Race. At first, all of them were against the idea of having such activities. I was so stressed out! I asked my English club members to run the show, and we did it! After that, English Race 2 was a big success. English race 3 did not materialize since my new boss insisted on something else, and I was so busy with Annual Report and bla bla bla bla. But students and lecturers have been asking for more of English Race. I am so proud to be the project manager, the person who initiated it there. I did not sleep for nights just to prepare for the event.

Later, I handled Night of Enchantment! Again, students were scared to participate. They questioned the purpose of the event. They question my objectives. The result was tremendous. Students loved it! Even though it was not up to my par, and to me, what they did was far below my standard, but they did it! They wanted more. but then...then… I furthered my study!

I wanted to tell the person who doesn’t believe in my capability, that I can actually do it!. Well I may look young, but don’t question my ability, coz you’ll never know.


About the language camp.. My boss will never cancel the event, but she wants to postpone to next semester and she wants it big! My boss wants the camp to be huge and she wants at least a 'menteri' or a politician to come and officiate the event. This is because the event will be dragged out of the normal budget, and it will be put under a special project which will use a different, special budget. If I m not mistaken RM40 mill will be allocated for the new budget. My boss wants me to get at least 10K for the camp. I am quiet shocked. First, I have never dealt with ‘menteri’ before.. Well I had once dealt with ‘menteri’ KPT last two years when he came to PTSB for a glamorous officiating ceremony. However, I didn’t deal with him directly. We used agent. However, for this language camp, the ministry wants us to deal directly with the menteri without any help from any consultant! OMG! It’s a big thing, how can 13 staffs in my department work on it! Well 13 is like a big number. But not all 13 can work well. There are some gaffes and giraffe here and there. So, I don’t know. If it is a poly’s work then, I think it will be ok, but now this is like… a unit’s work! So?? What do you expect? And that might be the reason why one of my colleague said, I don’t think you can do it! Huhu! We’ll see.
I don’t think this is workable. I think this is just a dream that take efforts -- i mean BIG EFFORT-- to be fulfilled. But look again, if it does happen and it is a success, my career would jump to the next level. A so-called-young lecturer with minimal experience has actually gone further and does an event which is big. But, if it doesn’t work, they will point to me and say, “no wonder la, it didn’t work! A young inexperience lecturer has been given the role as the project manager, what do you expect?”

I don’t know. My life is getting better these days. I m happy with my life, and my problems have seemed to go away and I love where it is heading. I have a simple life, a just nice life, some cheerful friends and not to forget I have the best brother one could ask for!

I m getting better and happier, and I want those that I cherish the most to be happy too. Let us spread the happiness k! huhu. XOXO ^_^

Friday, February 5, 2010

hold on there....

As I was listening to buble today, a very nice song had actually grabbed my heart down, and took flight! So here, I want to share it with everyone. Enjoy! I dedicate this song to those special people in my life! thanks for everything!

saya sayang kamu! XOXO.. yes you!

HOLD ON - Buble

Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones.
I guess that we were once, babe, we were once,
But luck will leave you cursed, it is a faithless friend,
And in the end, when life has got you down,
You've got someone here that you can wrap your arms around.

So hold on to me tight,
Hold on to me tonight.
We are stronger here together,
Than we could ever be alone.
So hold on to me,
Don't you ever let me go.

There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart,
But it's no ones fault, no it's not my fault.
Maybe all the plans we made might not work out,
But I have no doubt, even though it's hard to see.
I've got faith in us, and I believe in you and me.

So hold on to me tight.
Hold on, I promise it will be alright.
Cuz it's you and me together,
And baby all we've got is time.
So hold on to me,
Hold on to me tonight.

There's so many dreams that we have given up.
Take a look at all we've got,
And with this kind of love,
And what we've got here is enough.

So hold on to me tight.
Hold on, I promise it will be alright.
Cuz we are stronger here together,
Than we could ever be alone.
Just hold on to me,
Don't you ever let me go.
Hold on to me, it's gonna be alright.
Hold on to me tonight.

They always say, we were the lucky ones.

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Hunch : a feeling that sth is true even though you do not have any evidence to prove it.

Hmm... yesterday, around 6 pm i got an sms from my ex-colleague, kak fadzilah. we were quite close back then when i was in Kulim. She is like a sister to me too. Ya la, we had been working for years. However it is not her that i want to talk about here, but about her hunch. hmmm..

In the smses she said,

1st: " Zaki, ok ke skrng? Sihat?"
2nd: " i dint know whether it's just a hunch, tapi dok rasa macam zaki dok susah hati je"

I was shocked. I havent seen her for like weeks now (since a few weeks before we and a couple of friends went out for a farewell lunch) and she has got this 'hunch'.. hmm! kindda weird! did my not so well being - lately- can be sensed all the way to kulim. hmm... i hope not.

ya! i guess her 'hunch' is indeed true. I m indeed susah hati jugak but i know i can handle them. Just that i need to have fun more. Last weekend i indeed had fun. Went out for a movie la, for a mandi manda, yup! i indeed had fun.

The person that accompanied me is indeed much welcomed. I just simply laughed my heart out. How i wish i can be like that for the rest of my life. hmm.. everyday, 24 hours a day.

That weekend, I just forgot how terrible I felt! I was having fun fun fun! yup! and i m looking forward for more times like that.

Just want to share with you guys,

It is not how you spend your time, but with whom you spend it with which really counts.

by the way, yesterday my pet latip got a very beautiful window with Sydney background from Cipol's pet, Kyuti. OMG! I was so touched. I dont know why, but I miss spending time in Sydney. I miss my friends there. Julia, Mimin, Boy, fatin, Ejan, Ili, Anis, Izza etc. Ramai tu! lepak2, buat BBQ, ambik gambo tak hengat dunia. So when I got that window, I was so..... sad! seriously. Miss the time a lot! back then, everything seemed to be ok. My FB was active, My YM was active. My blog too and everyday, i was very sure that I would be receiving some emails or YM from my best buddy, cipol. But now, everything has changed. He is busy with his study and daily chores. hmm.. those are the things that i miss the most.

i had no regret whatsoever for being in Sydney! I could be myself and i had fun being the gila-gila person. here, I m a bit terbatas la. Why? because I have to bear the "public figure" status. But, just wait and see, I'll just let myself go and burst the bubbles. I tried in some of the classes, and trust me, i will keep it coming. haha!

Living in sydney was like living in a dream. Its a memory that I would never want to forget. Bad things happened there but everything seems so sweet now. Having Boy as a roommate, having firdaus as a roommate, buat2 kecoh di FB, everything seemed so... memorable. When i was there, i could feel how i was drawing nearer to my family, to myself and to people back in Malaysia. If you ask me, why I miss sydney so much, I can spend days talking about it.

Why i am moody and down and sad when I am here? 1st.. i had to adjust to my new environment. everything needs to be adjusted. i had to start from square 1. Make some new friends, face some new expectation, and of course letting go of what I had before. Who would NOT be miserable when you have to endure all this. However, there are so many things that I encounter when I am in Malaysia. I now find new company. Yup i am talking about Cipol here. He has been so good to me, and for once in my life, i could say that i have a buddy, a brother. Thank you bro. U will always be the best.

not just that, friends which used to spend time with me at sydney pun dah jadi among my best friends. Izza, Fatin, Ejan, mimin and of course the ever popular Julia. So, when I m bored, i just simply text them. thank you guys.

see.. i told you earlier that I can go on and on and on just by talking about the time spent in sydney. Even until now I would feel like jogging at centennial, lepaking at coogee, shopping at bondi, eating pizza at golden pide or eat at TOT! In all, yup.. I miss sydney.

But for now I have got new life and i must live with it. I m still learning to cope with it. So, bro, if you said I m not stable, I would agree with it. I m not stable JUST YET. I m still finding my way through. But trust me, I know myself very well, the face that i have to endure will go away very very soon. Now i m happy with my life, i m happy with what i got and as i would always say, I know whatever happens, ALLAH will always be with me.

most of all THANK YOU ALLAH for the life that you have given me.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

OMG pink!!!

I watched this on I was so impressed! how can a singer sing while spinning like that! Pink is so damn good these days! hmm... Go pink!

I kind of like the song too! Glitter in the air! Nice one. hmm! enjoy!

Glitter In The Air Lyrics

Have you ever fed a lover with just your haNds?
Closed your eyes And trusted, just trusted
Have you ever Thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don’t care

It’s only half past the point of No return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The tHunder before lightning
The breathe before the phrase
Have you ever felt thIs way?

Have you ever hated yourSelf for staring at the phone?
You’re whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re noT alone

Have you Ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever inviteD a stranger to come inside?

It’s only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breathe before the kiss
And the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La La La La La La La La

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee,
Calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breathe and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?

Monday, February 1, 2010

My plan for CNY holiday..

Hmm... CNY's break is just around the corner and I m hoping that I will make it. Hmm..

Here are some plans which I think can be done. Cipol, if you think I should add more, just tell me so k. huhu...

1. watch movie: Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

2. Sushi time

3. Pasar Ikan Manhattan

4. karaoke session

5. watch movie : The Wolfman

6. jog. Venue: Mengkuang dam

hoh? ini je ke? Well I should add more. Yup more. But? DO I have time? sob sob sob!