I m not OK today

Hi

Not in a very good mood today. (since 2 days ago, actually!) Feel so lonely, and it feels worse than before.

What has become of me. I smsed my dear friend, Ab, and told him how I feel. According to him, it is normal. it is what he refers to as early 30's syndrom. He has passed that age long ago. I guess I need to see him so that I can get some tips on how to overcome that sydrome once in for all. HOw I wish, he is here.

I do realize now that I m not an independant guy anymore. But now, i would say that I have become a very dependant guy. I would always crave for company. If before I would go watch movie alone, but now, I just cant. id rather stay home if I have no company. And to tell you the truth, I have no company here, in penang. Everybody seems busy with their own business and I m too damn lazy to go out and make new friends. Yes, I m bored to death.

Once in a while I would contact my bro, but he is busy with his life too and I shouldnt bother him too much - eventhough I want him to accompany me, but I must face the fact that he has his own life.

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I was assigned as the invigilator today. That class looked so annoying. I hated that class so much! Even for invigilation, but there was something -ve about that class. The students looked rather arrogant. One of them was swearinng terribly to i dont know who. But certainly, that class had.... an eerie look. So I hope next sem I will not be asked to teach them.

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My bro called me as cekeding since I m a bit skinny. It is not my choice to be skinny. It is not good at all. I cant wear most of my shirts, pants and jeans. Even if i wear them, I would have bulges here and there. It is not good at all.

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there are many things i would want to write, but... I just dont feel OK.. hmm...

hey you! I LOVE YOU!! can you hear me?

T_T